Sexsomnia grounds for acquittal

Jan Luedecke, 33, was acquitted Tuesday of sex assault after an Ontario judge ruled he was asleep while committing rape. A physician said he has "sexsomnia", a condition where sufferers behave sexually while sleeping.

An unidentified friend of Mr. Luedecke's last victim stated that after she kills Mr. Luedecke, the victim plans to plead not guilty due to her condition, called "killsomnia".

Chinese heading for the Moon

"I think about 10 to 15 years later, we will have the ability to build our own space station and to carry out a manned moon landing," announced Hu Shixiang, deputy commander in chief of China's manned space flight program, on Sunday.

Following this, officials from Paramount Pictures announced that the new Star Trek series would reflect the current view of the future by casting an all-Chinese crew. "Maybe a caucasian could be the science officer." one unnamed executive said.

U.S. using banned pesticide

Methyl bromide, a soil fumigant that an international treaty has banned as of this year for all but the most critical uses, continues to be used in the United States because the Bush administration, at the urging of agriculture and manufacturing interests, has convinced other treaty signatories that U.S. farmers can't do without it. Berries, tomatoes, and even melons are grown using this powerful soil purifier, but it is dangerous to humans, and potentially lethal.


Administration officials did not say why they weren't just paying these farmers not to grow food, like all the others.

High School censorship

Copies of the Oak Ridge High School's newspaper, The Oak Leaf, were seized on November 22, 2005.
The reasons given were the birth control article, which listed success rates for different methods and said contraceptives were available from doctors and the local health department, and a photo of an unidentified student's tattoo.
The student had not told her parents about the tattoo, and "I have a problem with the idea of putting something in the paper that makes us a part of hiding something from the parents," said Superintendent Tom Bailey.

(ed note: How is publishing something in a newspaper a part of hiding something?)

University of Tennessee journalism professor Dwight Teeter said "This is a terrible lesson in civics."

On the contrary - this is an excellent lesson in civics. So long as the right lesson is learned.

Church opposes Stem cell Research

Roman Catholic priests across Missouri urged their parishoners to oppose a petition seeking a constitutional amendment that would protect embrionic stem cell research.
"The similarities of the arguments behind the destruction of life by the Nazis and the use of human embryos (for stem cell research) are scary," said the Rev. James Smith of St. Peter Catholic Church.

The Rev. James Smith did not comment about the report that the government was still experimenting with samples of the smallpox virus.

Anti Speeding devices to be tested

Transport Canada is road-testing cutting-edge devices that use global positioning satellite technology to both detect speeding, and to deter speeding.
When a driver hits a certain point above the posted speed limit, a device would make it difficult to press the accelerator.

And, if history is any judge, the device will require all of 10 minutes and a screwdriver to remove.

Tin Hats Useless!

At MIT recently, they tested the permeability and opacity of aluminum-foil hats to various emissions, to see how well they actually work to block any telekinetically-imposed outside behavioral patterns on an otherwise innocent population. They published their results!
They found that the hats do block some transmissions, but amplify some wavelengths of electromagnetic energy… including a band reserved by the government!

We can only hope that terrorists and ad agencies don't get their hands on this technology. . . Thanks to the Bad Astronomy Blog for this story.

Naked bust in Fort Myers

Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, while naked and asking women to touch him, tried to run away when Fort Myers sheriff's deputies approached. One of them used his Taser, and one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals.

Experts still not sure who was more shocked by the incident.

Gingivitis attacks caregivers

According to the latest issue of Psychosomatic Medicine, spouses who act as caregivers for patients with Alzheimer's disease develop gum disease at twice the rate of their non-caregiver counterparts.

Well, it had to happen. Now that Brush has teamed up with Listerine, the evil Gingivitis has had to seek out its own ally - Alzheimer's!
Can humanity survive? Can caregivers brush?
Tune in tomorrow - same floss time, same floss channel!

WW1 vet dies

Clare Laking, 106, died at Toronto's Sunnybrook and Women's Health Sciences Centre on Saturday.
It is believed that he was the last Canadian World War I veteran to have fought on the front line. His death leaves only four living Canadian vets from that war.

And so does the War To End All Wars fade away.

Tamil tigers issue deadline

The leader of the Tamil Tigers said the Tigers will intensify its struggle for self-government next year if the administration of new President Mahinda Rajapakse doesn't achieve a political settlement.
Velupillai Prabhakaran, said in a statement yesterday that "Our people have lost patience, hope and reached the brink of utter frustration."
He went on to say that if a suitable political settlement was not reached, "we will, next year, in solidarity with our people, intensify our struggle for self-determination."

An unofficial source states that former President Clinton's offer to define "suitable political settlement" for them has been met with death threats.

Turkey goes to Disneyland

Marshmallow, the 35-pound turkey"pardoned" by President Bush, was the grand marshal in Thursday's Thanksgiving parade at Disneyland.

And they wonder why other cultures don't understand us.

Mentally Ill buy Guns.

The National Instant Criminal Background Check System is not being provided with the names of people who have been involuntarily committed to mental institutions. As a result, some of these people have been allowed to purchase guns. And use them.
Legislation to make it manditory for states to provide these names to the NICS has been defeated twice, in 2002 and 2004.
Michael Faenza, president and chief executive of the National Mental Health Association, said "It's just not fair. On the one hand, we want there to be very limited access to guns. But here you're singling out people because of a medical condition and denying them rights held by everyone else."
Larry Pratt, executive director of the Gun Owners of America, said "Our idea of improving NICS is to abolish it. There is this continuing assumption that a gun buyer is guilty until proven innocent."

Political correctness strikes again.
Dear Mr. Faenza. They are being singled out because, unlike me, they have a diminished capacity. At least, that's what their defence lawyers claim.
Dear Mr. Pratt. Commitment to an institution is not an assumption. A person may be innocent until proven guilty, but these people have been proven guilty.
No guns. Nohow.

NEA lawsuit thrown out of court

News item: The NEA's lawsuit against the No Child Left Behind program has been thrown out of court by U.S. District Judge Bernard A. Friedman. The NEA had charged that the expenses of impementing the programs were greater than the federal money the programs were providing.
The NEA states it will appeal.

Is the program underfunded? Certainly we have heard a lot recently about program cutbacks. Maybe expectations need to be cut back as well.

Associated news item: says the United States education system needs at least a quarter million more math and science teachers.

Presumably teachers that teach intelligent design top the list, along with math teachers willing to show how $1,000,000 - $2,000,000 = $0.

Slavery rampant

Reports state that two million people, mostly women and children, are being trafficked as slaves worldwide. A large number of these work in the sex industry. At least 10,000 people within the US are in forced labor situations including the sex trade industry.
http://www.pww.org/article/articleview/7728/1/286

An unofficial official at the Department of Energy has gone on record as stating that generators connected to Abe Lincoln's rapidly spinning body are now powering all of Pennsylvania and Northern Virginia.

Smallpox still a threat

Despite the eradication of smallpox, strands still exist in two laboratories in the US and Russia. Research is being done to develop even more deadly versions of the smallpox virus. The Department of Homeland Security claims they are experimenting with the virus in order to facilitate the development of vaccines to combat the possible use of smallpox in a terrorist attack. Despite criticism that accidental release of the virus could threaten millions of lives, the World Health Organization has approved the genetic modification of the deadly smallpox virus and continuing research.
http://www.biosafety-info.net/article.php?aid=268
http://www.organicconsumers.org/ge/smallpox041105.cfm
http://www.comeclean.org.uk/articles.php?articleID=92

An unnamed DHS official stated today that "We cannot destroy this disease until we have a defence against this disease to use should somebody steal this disease from us." He then tried to tie himself into a reef knot, but only managed a granny.

Ex-Green goes for Senate

Steven Greenfield, a professional saxophone player, says he will challenge incumbent Hillary Rodham Clinton for the 2006 Democratic nomination for Senate.

Insert Clinton/saxophone joke here.
Greenfield who?

Lego with legs

In the news today . . .
William Swanberg, of Reno, Nevada, is charged with stealing $200,000 worth of Lego bricks, in the form of the expensive sets like the Lego Millennium Falcon playset. He apparently stole them with the intention of trying to resell them on EBay.

A "poke", in medaeval times, was a leather drawstring bag. Con men would try to sell simpletons a moving bag, telling them there was a piglet (valuable) inside, when in reality there was just a cat (not valuable) inside. The idiots would buy a pig in a poke, while the smarter peasants would insist on looking inside first, thus letting the cat out of the bag.
EBay is the poke of the 21st Century. Despite all the safeguards and certifications, you are still buying something you have not seen in person, and whose ownership may be in question.
A word to the wise . . .

Christmas Shopping

It's gift time again. You have a boy and a girl to buy for. What to get, what to get?
How about a crying doll?
Too stereotyped? What if the doll is for the boy?
Come on - what's the boy most likely to end up with by the time he's 30? An assault weapon, a Corvette, or a child? What will he need the most practice in looking after?
The ME generation is passing, boomers. Time to rectify one of the mistakes your parents made with you - that boys don't help with the kids, other than football practice and driving.
Time to teach them to look after that sqealing bundle of joy, right from an early age.

"Every good deed is an example. So is every bad deed."
Robert A. Heinlein, among others.

Small Ideas

We live in a world inundated with big news.
From the big sale down at WalMart to the News of Our Salvation, we are asked to think about things that will change your life as you know it!
Some ideas, however, will never change your life. Knowing the name of the capital of Mongolia will not affect your career ( no matter what my old geography teacher thought). But these ideas are still interesting to know.
Trivia is the spice in the stew of life. It is the rounding of the well-rounded individual.
I will spice up your life in this blog. I will present you with information.
I will, over there in the links, present you with the means to find more, spicier information.
I will entertain you in the best way possible.
Constructively.

The longest lasting continually published comic strip is, appropriately enough for this blog,
Ripley's Believe It Or Not.